The new year is here! Many people make individual New Year's Resolutions but have you ever made them together as a couple? Spend some time with your spouse reflecting and evaluating what your relationship was like for the past year. While you can start a resolution at any time, there is nothing better than a new slate feeling of a new year. This is a good time to agree on mutual specific, realistic, and attainable goals that would make your relationship even better.
Every relationship faces its ups and downs. The key to making it through the challenging times is working toward the same end goal. Be candid with your partner about what you expect from each other and the relationship. Even if you are in a pretty great relationship, there is always room to improve. But exactly what goals should you set? Try some of these New Year's resolutions and really flourish this year as a couple.
Change a bad habit together: If you share a bad habit, resolve it this year by ending it. For e.g. if you're both spending more time looking at your phone at dinner than each other, then it might be time to kick that habit to the curb. Consider limiting your time on Facebook or Instagram. Treat changing a bad habit like a mini support group. You can encourage each other to change these bad habits. It is important not to treat it like a competition. The hard work your spouse is putting in to change his/her bad habits can motivate you even more!
● Cook together: Cooking should not have to fall to one person in the relationship. Set time aside a few times a week to cook with one another. Cooking together can be fun and interesting. This is a good way to try new recipes and spend more time with each other. It allows both of you to eat the foods you love and impress each other with great meals shared under candlelight. Food brings people together!
● Hang out with other couples: Make plans to meet up with other couples. Hanging out with other couples can be fun, enriching and can bring out the best in everyone. In addition, learning from another couple and how they handle life's challenges can make you feel less alone in your struggles. Other couples can provide helpful ideas about what has worked for them concerning many issues that couples face such as parenting, aging parents, inlaws, budgeting for a vacation, etc.
● Listen: It is easy to think that you are listening to your partner. Don't just nod your head when your spouse speaks. Don't fold the laundry when your spouse speaks. Don't answer a text when your spouse speaks. Instead, sit down with your spouse and look them in the eye. Pay attention to the emotional content behind what is being said. Active listening is a skill but it is an important skill for your relationship. Active listening requires paying attention and asking follow-up questions. Make your spouse feel heard!
● Plan a weekly date night: Spend more quality time together. Schedules nowadays are hectic and busy and couples spend less and less time together. Commit to having a weekly date night to keep the romance and passion alive! This date night doesn't have to require just getting dinner. This date night can be at home as well. You and your spouse can have a cozy "movie night" at home with wine and popcorn. Another date idea could be taking a bike ride or hiking the scenic route. From now on, try to do more new things together. Being physically engaged with each other will create more of an emotional connection and build intimacy within your relationship.
● Travel more and see the world: Go somewhere you have never been before with your spouse! Pick a destination, plan a time to go, and save for your travel. Traveling is exciting and it strengthens your relationship. You get to see and try new things together. Traveling with your spouse helps you learn what they really like to do and puts your partner's interests and passions on display. Plus, you will have happy memories shared together and new photographs.
You'll want to get specific with your goals instead of making them more general. Find measurable ways to achieve these goals. For example, cook dinner together three times a week. I encourage you to set aside time with your spouse and discuss how you can make the new year the best year yet. Making New Year's resolutions with your spouse can help you recommit to both the resolution and each other. So, get creative with these resolutions and brainstorm together! Happy 2020 everyone!!
If your relationship needs more than New Year's resolutions, we are always here to help.
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Modern Family Counseling
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